My first post here anyway. Depending on how you count them, this is my fifth blog; I’m no stranger to bloggin’. But enough of this boring drivel and on to the weird dream I had the other night!
I was volunteering for the Roman army, to fight the Gauls under the Emperor Trajan. That’s the first odd thing in the light of day, me being basically of Gallic barbarian descent… So there I was in my tunic filling out a pink volunteer card. To join the Roman army. Name, basic info, and two check boxes — one to the effect of “Hellz yeah! Lets do this! Hail Caesar!” and the other obviously dishonorable thing to do at this point, “Eh, on second thought I think I could better serve the Empire maybe as a farmer, a farmer situated well into the safe interior of Italy.”
Having checked the box, next was ‘basic training’. This consisted of standing in front of a wooden wall while the Gauls catapulted boulders over it at you. If you survived that you were ready to get your darts and be in the front line of the Triplex acies. Even though deadly, even though actually fired by the enemy, in the dream this boulder thing was nonetheless somehow ‘safer’ than actual combat. Kind of an initial test. These boulders were a good yard in diameter, pretty much instant death. I saw a few other volunteers taken out by these right next to me, but I made it through.
As a friend I had just met and I were catching our breath afterward, a rich kid volunteer came up to us talking about how he was going to check the other box on the card and go home, as if this were a totally fine, completely acceptable thing to do. And that was it. Dream over. I guess I’m in the Roman infantry now. So where do I get my cool SPQR tattoo??